Why Every Mom Needs a Village: Birth, Postpartum, & Building a Support System

In this episode of The Mompreneur Collective, I sit down with Dr. Alayna Clark, Owner of Birth Acadiana Chiropractic, and Host of the Birth Acadiana Podcast, for an honest conversation about birth, postpartum recovery, motherhood, and what it really takes to build a business that supports your life.

We share our own birth stories and the unexpected challenges that followed; From preeclampsia, C-sections, episiotomies, and breastfeeding struggles to difficult postpartum recoveries and the physical healing aspect of it that many moms aren't prepared for. We laugh about how even the best birth plans(even the laminated ones😆) don't always go as expected and why preparing for multiple possibilities matters.

We explore the importance of preparing not just for labor, but for postpartum too. We talk about the wealth of resources available to support moms and babies, the power of education in helping women feel informed and empowered, and how understanding your options can completely transform your birth experience(like it did for me💛).

Beyond birth and postpartum, our conversation expands into the realities of mompreneur life. We discuss mom guilt, burnout, building trust in others, and the importance of creating a support system that allows you to thrive. We also talk about redefining success, making intentional choices that align with your values, and letting go of the belief that you should be able to do it all alone.

If you've ever struggled with asking for help, felt overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood and entrepreneurship, or wondered how to create more support in your life, this episode is for you.

Because the truth is: you were never meant to do motherhood alone.🫶🏻

Learn More/Connect with Guest: 

BirthAcadianaChiro.com

Follow Birth Acadiana Chiropractic on Instagram

Follow Dr.Alayna Clark on Instagram

Follow Birth Acadiana on Facebook

Thank you for listening. Your support means the world to me.

Here are all the ways to connect with me and follow what's going on in my world:

JamieSmithCoaching.com

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Jamie Smith Coaching on Facebook

Follow Jamie on Facebook @JamieSmithMompreneur

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Welcome back to the Mom Preneur Collective. Or if you're here for the first time, welcome and I hope you love it here. My name is Jamie Smith, and I'm your host and certified life and business coach. And if you're a mom and an entrepreneur or an aspiring one, you're in the right place because this podcast was created to share the real stories, real struggles, and real success of mompreneurs doing their best to balance it all. And one of the biggest struggles, while simultaneously being the biggest blessing in our lives, well, in most mompreneurs' lives, is giving birth and having a child. It's the moment we become a mom, and no one really prepares you for it. But today, we'd like this to change. And by we, I mean our guest today. Dr. Elena Clark, owner of Birth Acadiana Chiropractic. She makes it her work's mission to support moms and their babies during pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and beyond. So our goal today is to have you walk away knowing that there are resources out there to help inform you and your decisions to make sure that they're aligned with the real vision that you have and the values you hold so dearly. And we want you to know that there's tons of support out there that can help you take care of yourself every step of the way in your motherhood journey. You do not have to do this alone. Let's welcome her onto the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Hey, Elena, welcome to the Mom for Newer Collective. I'm super excited to have you here today. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. Um this is gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Yes. Um, Elena and I have already cheers and had a few sips of our champagne and some nice girl talk and mom talk before we hopped on today. So we're nice and primed for this conversation. Yeah. Well, Elena, I would love to just dive straight into you sharing your birth story. I know that that is a big jumping off point, but that's where I want to go. I feel like that's what the whole point of us being together today is to share about our births and to share about what support and resources are out there for the moms going through that, along with the postpartum season of it. Um, even the prenatal, right? So all of it, the the whole journey and what and what support is out there is our goal to share with you today and have you walking away, hopefully knowing that there are resources and that there is support out there. So I think that is probably the most important part of our conversation today and what's at the heart of it. But I think what is probably the most relatable part of it is is just sharing a little bit about our birth story. Everybody that is listening to this podcast, or I guess I can't say everybody, who knows, but for the most part, our mom purene audience, they've all been through this. Yeah. And so some version of it, I'm sure. Some version of it, right? Um, and and she and I were talking before we hopped on too, just about that. I think one of the most interesting things about it all is that everybody has such a different experience. Oh, yeah. And it's just wild. Um, so so yeah, I'll shut up and just let you get started.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

Okay. Yeah, so let's see. Well, my husband and I had actually struggled to get pregnant for about two, you know, two-ish years. And um, we never did idea for anything like that, but finally got pregnant, and I was like thoroughly, I was just like, you know, whenever if anybody's ever been through a fertility journey, it's like you don't care, you're just happy that you've made it. So I was um enjoying my pregnancy, and then things to keep the very short version got a little crazy. I would say like month five or six. Um, my husband got a crack and all these other things, and just things financially were absolutely insane. I was building a new office and finally doing like the build-out of my dreams, uh, which is so funny. Look back now, I don't even have that office anymore. And uh yeah, like I was putting things in place to set myself up for what I thought my experience of being a working mom would look like. And so I had like an assistant, you know, my office manager, and she was gonna help me with my daughter, and we were gonna like breastfeed and be barefoot and just like living our, you know, living our hippie little lives at my office and serving all these like wonderful families. And um, yeah, so I actually ended up and I was actually planning a home birth, a little caveat is our little secret into that. I was actually planning an unassisted birth, which not a lot of people know that. I say a lot of people, most people died anyways, but yeah, so planned that, but then I ended up developing like preclampsia pretty severely and ended up transferring, obviously. I that was really hard for me, and it ended up turning into panic attacks, stressing out, and when they did go to induce me, I'd like nothing, nothing. I knew nothing would happen, but I was like, I ain't about to not fucking try, you know. Um, so I tried, that didn't happen, and ended up in a C-section. And uh, even though I will say it didn't happen obviously the way that I wanted it to, there was a lot of grief and healing that came after that, even still to this day. Um, I'm really grateful for the people who were in my world at the time to honor as much as they could with my situation as possible, and they were really good about that. Um, but yeah, so that's kind of how that story happened. And then we had a really rough start with like nursing, and I will just say that. Now we did end up working through it and nurse for probably almost two years, it's just shy of two years, which was like I was not planning on, I didn't really have a plan. I was like, Yeah, we'll just do it, and like when we're ready to stop, we'll stop and just kind of like go from there. Yeah, um, but yeah, that's kind of how how the birth story I guess kind of went.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what I take away from that is just this overarching theme of we can go into it with a plan. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

That's okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

But reality is that the plan doesn't always play out the way we want it to. And that goes not just for birth and our birth plan, but it goes for our life plan too. Yeah. I mean, that it's just so so real, right? And so your birth story is an example of that, just playing out in real life, how you can, you know, manifest it and have all of the things laid out and vision it the way that you want it to be and line everything up perfectly so, but the universe has other plans for you.

SPEAKER_03 6:53

And everything you you still ended up with a healthy baby and you're healthy, and I think most important things that because I know a lot of people that come in my office and they say that and say if I can speak to another, please any women who have gone through that. I think the thing to take away, and I have a lot of even first-time moms who come in and they're like, I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna have any plans because I see how people, and I think the uh what to take actually from that is have multiple plans, right? Have your have your dream up the dreamiest fucking birth you got, girl. Like whatever that looks like, but then have like a plan B, a plan C. How are you gonna handle? And I think the the biggest lessons I actually took from my own experience was what matters to you the most, even in the event that your worst case scenario happens. How do you want to be treated? Who do you want to support you? And like, how do you want to navigate that with like the values you have for your birth and even your life? Like, I still, even though the things that have happened, I mean my daughter's four now, have not happened the way that I thought they would, the values that I have for me and my family still remain there. And so I don't get you know, I don't go off of that. I you know, we kind of you know alter it a little bit and adapt to it in the way that I have to, but you know, the core of it is still the same. And I think that maybe makes it a little bit easier to navigate when you're going through something, especially with moms who are like so gun-ho on like, look, I'm gonna do everything that I can, I'm gonna set myself up.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:27

And let's just kind of, and people will ask me about actually. Funny enough, there's a lot of people in the birth world who are like, are you gonna try to do that again? And I'm like, you know what? I don't know how shit's gonna go down this time. I'm gonna like know, you know, do what I can with the information that I have and the experience that I have personally and professionally. And uh we'll just kind of in the moment see where the fuck my body goes, and we'll just kind of roll with it then. But you know, I still have like ways of how I'm gonna work through those situations as they arise. Yeah. So I'm not like completely caught off guard. Yeah, work for us typing people.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Yes, that's me. Um, but yeah, I just heard you say like do the best you can with what you know. So do the best you can with what you have now, the information you have now, where you are now. Yeah. Um, and that's all we can do. But have a plan A, a plan B, a plan C. Absolutely. Stay aligned with your values as you're making those decisions, those hard decisions that are gonna inevitably pop up along the way. Um, you know, same, same situation for me in that I showed up with my, I was the talking about type A, I was the I had a laminated laminated. We love it though. Not just pregnant. Laminated. Um, so laminated birth plan. I mean, I was set up for success, right? Um, and I wanted to have a natural birth. But backing up, probably up until four to five months into my pregnancy, I fully just kind of took on the societal norms and did what the world said to do or what the normal thing was, and it's to get an epidural and have all the medicines and just go into it and do what they normally do and what they tell you to do. And I somewhere along the line, I was recommended a certain podcast, a certain book, and I think it was probably by the hospital. So good on them for you know and good on me for attending the birth preparation classes. Um, but they provided us with some resources and going down that rabbit hole of listening to different podcasts that were out there and hearing different birth stories. That's what led me to your podcast that you used to have. Um, tell me what the name of it was again Birth of Acadiana Podcast. The Birth of Acadiana Podcast. And so I ended up stumbling upon that. And through all these podcasts, I started to hear other moms' stories, and I started to hear about all of the just I started to learn all of the prosperity and cons and benefits and risks and just all the things, and my eyes were opened. And I was like, wow, this is not even, I don't want an epidural. I don't need an epidural. My body was made for this. I felt so empowered after listening to so many stories that I was like, I can totally do this. I'm capable. If I put all of these, you know, practices into place and all of these tips. You know, that's yeah, and so I just totally changed my mind. I was like, I'm having a natural birth. I don't want any medicine, no epidural. And that's what I did. My water broke. I went to the hospital, and like four and a half hours later, I had a child. It was very quick. One, two, and second, and so that's it's a perfect example of how like my body knew that it was time. I didn't get the medicine or the epidural that prolongs your contractions and makes it a longer experience. I did, you know, and yes, was it hard? But mindset is what got me through all of it. And all the tips that I heard from all these moms on these podcasts is what got me through all of it. So many three. And yeah, and and the flip side of that is right. Like I had the natural birth that I wanted to have, and my birth plan went accordingly in that aspect. Um, however, when it came to actually crowning, though, is when the doctor, which wasn't my doctor, so that was part of it that of course didn't go as to plan. I didn't get to have my doctor. She wasn't working that day. So I had the on-call. And so it was also a man instead of a woman, which I was like, ugh. But anyway, so he was like, We're gonna need to um a psiotomy. Yes, an appeziotomy loss for works, thank you. So he was like, We're gonna need to do that. And everything inside of me was just like, no, yeah, no, no, like I've heard so much about this. Like, but we just need to let my body take its time, like we just need to wait until the next time. And I mean, he asked me like probably two more times after that and was like, I really think this is what we need to do. And I mean, I just looked at my husband, I was like, okay, so we did it. Um, and through that, I toured in three different places, so internally and externally. And so I had all the stitches and all the things, and and it was excruciating. I mean, to be honest, it was excruciating. There were days I would literally just be on the couch in tears, and I would be like, I think I need to go to the doctor. I think it and at one point I did go to back to the doctor because there's a chance of you getting like a big, not a tumor, but a big old blood bubble essentially inside of you. Yes, yeah. Um, so I went and got checked out and everything was fine. It was just excruciating to heal in those places. So I couldn't pee or, you know, none of those things. Number one or two couldn't do that normally, like a normal human for like four months, couldn't stand up, couldn't walk, was sitting on ice packs, literally had a ice pack in my panties for months, you know, and was sitting on the what is the thing, the boppy, the things that are for breastfeeding. That's that was I love those. You think those are for breastfeeding, those are for moms to sit on after birth when they have a very sore underside. So that didn't change my life. Literally. Um, but yeah, it was a really hard recovery process that I was not expecting, that I was not prepared for, that I had no idea in my mind I was gonna have a baby and walk home and start hopping and skipping and being mom. And and it was rough recovery. Yeah. Um, but healthy baby. I'm healthy at the end of it, and that's what matters the most. And so moral of the story is like look for the resources, look for the support, seek out the knowledge.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

And not just, I think you saying that is so important too, because it's not everyone plans for the pregnancy, they plan for the birth, they don't plan post mortem. Nobody thinks about postmortem. They don't use again, it's like that. I'm like, I same thing as how moms will go in. Like, I'm so proud of you for do like realizing that. And you did, you did a great job. And then what happened with most moms is like, or with breastfeeding, you know, if I know they've struggled or they're maybe planning, especially if they're coming seeing me, I'm like, hey, because you're planning to breastfeed because winging it like maybe I don't even know, I don't even really know those statistics, most of it, maybe like one out of 10, but like probably not even that. Most women will have a hard time breastfeeding. Like, either it's them, the baby, a combo, because of the birth things came.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

100% on the anomaly, like all my friends and everyone that I know that's had babies around the same time period as me, they had some kind of issue with I did not. I'm the on the unicorn, and I feel so blessed. And she literally just turned to, and we literally just this week, like I think we had our last, last session, nursing session, and it was yeah, crocodile tears, we're having it's so bittersweet. But yeah, well, congratulations for going. Thank you, thank you. But yeah, for a lot of moms, it's not that easy. No, there's so much trouble.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Yeah, so no one prepares for like the post bardom part of it, unless it's like, okay, am I gonna bottle feed? Am I gonna do this? Like, how am I gonna go back to work? Like people think about that, yeah. But maybe not so much about like the healing aspect. Who am I gonna see if shit hits the fan with breastfeeding and I'm not as like prepared as I thought I was gonna be. And it's not, they're not just gonna like pop on and latch and everything's gonna go. Shit's gonna fucking hurt. It's gonna hurt, okay. And if it doesn't, then wow, like it could look like you gotta like God has his favorites, you know. So, um, but you know, so there's there's there's preparation that goes into it, and it doesn't have to be like this crazy, but just like know where to look, you know, like even if you like, okay, I'm I maybe not have to like do a ton of stuff. Maybe let me take this little class and learn a little bit about this. And like, okay, I know if things pop up, I know who to call. These are my people, and you do that. And I that's usually what I'll do with moms. I'll be trying to like set them up to be like, hey, how you doing? Yeah, shit is a fan. This thing you call. Don't worry about it, we got it covered. It's okay if you cry. We're all gonna cry, we're gonna help you out. It'd be okay. Yeah, you know, so yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Well, share, you know, since what the big message here is is us wanting to know that there is support and there are resources out there to help moms, you know, not only just better.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah, yeah, not only just better prepared for it, um, like knowledge-wise, but also like physical preparation and things like that that we don't even know exist, right? Like I didn't know that a chiropractor for a mom that's pregnant was a thing. I didn't even know a massage for a pregnant woman was a thing. I didn't know about a pelvic floor therapist. There are all these professions that that are there to help women going through all of these hard physical changes. And I didn't know about any of it until it was past the point of me needing it, or or I'm already like months into the struggle and just now finding it.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Yeah, I will say this, it's never too late.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Right. Thank goodness for me. So share about what kind of support you can provide and about your business.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Yeah, so I'm obviously a birthday Katie and a chiropractic is my business. Um, and I I've done the like family thing and all that kind of stuff. And most people who see pregnant women, perenatal, it's like perenatal pediatric, and I've even like honed down a lot more, niche down. Um, so I will mostly work with women who are in their pregnancy or maybe about to plan on being pregnant, but the majority of them are coming in like obviously pregnant, and then or their babies, right? So I really work with infants, a lot of infants mostly I don't have the babies that come in an office, the majority of the time they're not older than like four months. You know, I see them up to a year if they want to stay longer. I like I have families that stay with me for like two, three babies, and they would just all stay on wellness or like they bop in and that kind of thing. Why would a four month old need to see a chiropractor?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

And I'm not seeing that like to be the ignorant person that knows nothing about your industry, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:36

Well, I would even suggest like within the first month, like not even waiting that long, right? So, like moms who have breastfeeding issues, tortocolis, maybe like this is classic. Okay, so like say if I have a mom that comes in with their baby and they're like, I don't know why they're fussy, they're throwing up, they're refluxy, they can't poop, you know, all these other things. Um, they're you know nursing better on one side than the other. And I'm like, okay, what happened in birth? And they're like, what does that have to do with it? I'm like, everything, literally everything. And so, you know, how were we? Did you have a lot of like one-sided pain? Did you have a toddler you were also holding? And all of these other factors, right? Was the baby breathing like just everything? And so that, and then tell me how the birth was. Were you induced? Were forceps used? Were you, you know, episodes, did labor stall, and like all these other things? And most carpenters, like they'll act, they'll ask that question, but I'm I'm really asking it from a much deeper birth lens, um, because it'll help me answer questions from aunts, right? You know, hey, this is why they're turning to this side, this is where their head's kind of like this, this is how we're gonna fix it. You know, and here's all these other people who might be part of the healing process, like a little overwhelming, but don't worry, this is literally our job, and we couldn't imagine doing anything other than that, you know. So we have a plan. Let us, you know, like do our best work to do that, and we got you.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

So you work on moms too, though, right? Not just the the infants.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, most of the moms will come um after, and I'll work on them together. Hey, you know, like help get them back into the proper shape after they're all bent out.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Well, because like, especially with nursing, you know, nursing is girl, my neck and my girl.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

And then girl sleeping, next level pain. I mean, Lord, have mercy. No one prepared me for the shoulder pain I would get when you were co-sleeping with your nursing baby all night. I mean, good lord. So, you know, moms need it. I mean, oh my god. I thought I needed it during pregnancy. Postpartum, I I go every other week. Every other week. I don't sleep. Actually, me and the chiropractor that we trained, we somehow we broke out of it for like a month or so. Our schedules just got crazy and we didn't see each other. And I was like, if I don't get to your office or you get to mine, we're gonna find life. We'll figure this out. So uh, but anyway, so yeah, so I need to come see you. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

That's all I'm guessing right now as you're talking is I think I need to come see you.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Come on in, girl. Um but yeah, and I'll I'll adjust them. I do um, because some chiropracts everybody practice is different, right? And I've done so much stuff outside of chiropractic, and I bring it in and I just like make it what I want it, right? I've had I did an internship right before I graduated with a midwell local midwife, and so I take a lot of the midwifery stuff because a lot of my moms have OBs, and so I try to give them a little bit of the care that I know they're not getting. Like, okay, you're about to get your GBS, you know, or maybe that one, or um, you know, oh my god, I feel my one hour. Okay, everybody feels a one hour, they'll freak out, or like my baby's breached. Okay, come on in, let's have a plan, let's figure this out. I feel like therapy, I'm not the therapist, I'm not therapist, but sometimes I feel like it. I know good that's a great way to put it. And um, I'm almost somebody actually one of the doulas told me, she's like, You're kind of like their pregnancy doula. And so I've also have a childbirth education background, and so I'll kind of like, hey, let's. Talk about options. Let's go through something. Maybe y'all are like navigating something, and your doctor only has like literally fucking five minutes to talk to you. You better make it count. Okay, so then here's all the things that like you need to go in, knowing information, what questions do you want to ask? I don't care what you decide. This is your birth, not mine. So decide on what you want is important back to the values, like what are important to you. And so through that, we get through obviously the bigger things that they come in with are like pain. Okay, so we'll deal with that, the pain. Um, and then based on their birth goals, we'll basically spend the rest of their pregnancy prepping them for that. Um, and I've had moms too, like I have a mom right now, she's prepping for her seventh C-section. Wow. Yeah. And she's like, this is my last baby. And I was like, yeah, bro, this is getting pretty dangerous for her. And so we're prepping for her to have a really great recovery. So we'll get in, you know, into that for her and then breastfeeding and all this other stuff. So um that's kind of how I like we'll add in little nuggets. And most, I would say most, I know most chiropractors here in town don't do that. Definitely the ones who are not doing like anyways. I won't get into that.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

But yeah, that's how I think what you're saying is your special, and that's fine. Toot your horn, girl. Toot it. Um, so all all of the, you know, we shared, we shared our birth stories and about what kind of support you can provide to the moms and to their babies. I'm curious for the listeners out there, what would you say is something that you wish like you had known before giving birth? Or like what should the moms out there know before they go into this journey of becoming a mother? Like, what's the one big thing you feel like you want them to know?

SPEAKER_03 23:38

I think um I had a really great mentor. And she, right, because I'm speaking to other moms who are business or business owners, entrepreneurs, work working moms, right? And one thing I love, love, love about her, because she's in the same area multimillionaire. Like she's fantastic. She was she's a character actor, um, added other things to her business yellow she was coaching and all this other stuff. And um one of the things that I love the most about what I about her really is that she is a working, like obviously a working mom, and her little one is a little bit older than my daughter. So we were going through that at the same time, and I've just watched her grow into that. And what I love so much about what she does is she gets she shows other moms how you get to do it all. And not us doing it all, right? Because like we can't fucking do it all. Like we shouldn't be doing it all.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

And that's the belief that so many of us have that we need to try to get rid of. 100% should do it, right? Should be able to.

SPEAKER_03 24:44

We should be able to. We should be able because like we have the same hours, and right as everyone else, okay. No, like we have a family, we have kids, like you think your life is hard, have kids. Have fucking kids and run a business, okay? It's so difficult, right? And try to have health issues on top of it and all these other things, right? It's insane. Um, I think, like I said, what I love the most about that is how you get to have this like abundant life and like whatever that looks like to you, and how to be not just like sure time efficient, but be in a way that like builds your support system doesn't have to be like the like, especially if people always like some people come and they don't have support systems, they don't have great systems that they can rely on in their village. Like, I am grateful that you know, my grandmother, like my husband had he had surgery on you know, on Wednesday and had to work that around it. My grandmother, who actually watched my daughter for the first year and a half, like she got to do that, and I'm so grateful for her for doing that because I thought she was gonna be with me at work, and we had all these other plans for that to happen, and they didn't happen that way, which is totally fine. I love how it ended up, but you know, I'm on because of how like my husband's work is the nature of his work, I am running a business, running my house. I have a four-year-old who's watched short school, like big girl school, and so I have to navigate that. And you, especially when you are a business owner, like how do you if you have the ability to shape your office or shape your business in a way that supports you, even if it's not traditional. Like, I'm literally looking into how I can't tell myself I was like, the next on our list is somebody to literally come clean our house. I fucking hate cleaning my house. We bought this beautiful house that we like, I love it. It's in my like dream neighborhood. I love where we live. And um I'm like, you're not home much, you know? So, like, why not have somebody here who can help me? 100%. And if I could have another wife, man, I would like bring her in, you know, that would be awesome. But like it's okay if it doesn't look as traditional. You know, if you have like a you know, part-time college kid maybe helping you out or getting your kid, or after school, like my daycare is my co-parent. Yeah. And I am happy to be like, look, I maybe I'm not seeing patients today, but like, girl, and I feel you know, and I mom guilt will hit you, right? Because she's like sometimes the first one there and the first time the first the last one to leave. And it's hard, but I'm like, I'm doing this so that way I can go and spend so much money that I just dropped today on uniforms and like not blunt about it. Like, okay, you know, whatever, and go shopping and school and put her in that, yeah, just paid all the damn registration babies, you know, that was fine. It was fine, it was okay, but I felt like supported that, you know, like we could I could do it that way. And again, being around that my mentor who's like, let me show you what abundance can look like. Don't burn yourself out, right? Because that's what a lot of us do. We're trying to do all this shit um on our own to show, especially like us type banks, right? Like we're we've done the thing, we've got the job, we got the career, we're the moms with like, you know, we're usually the ones with the fertility issues, and um, you know, we're like so high strong, it's so hard to trust people to do a good job, like a good of a job as we would do, right? Because no one's ever gonna do it as good as us. Yeah. But we have to like figure out ways to be able to like, okay, I will build the trust to like let you do that thing so that way I can actually live in my genius and make more money and be more abundant and have things or do things that are what I would put in my bubble of like success. Yeah. It's everyone's bubble of success or whatever you want to call it. It looks so different. Yeah. And that's also okay. Like some people's, especially like charging moms here who are entrepreneurs, you know, it yours could be like this huge giant business that's multi-million dollars and all these other things, or it could just be like, I'm making enough to like put my kids in a fucking amazing school I never would have gone in. Girl, more power to you. Like that's amazing. Yeah, you know, it could look so many different ways. So another kind of one a little ramble, but I love so I love it.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

My whole, I mean, you can't you guys can't see it on the camera shop right now, or obviously through the podcast in your ears, but I have an and symbol, an ambassad symbol on my bookshelf. And the whole idea behind that is I had a whole episode about this, but it's just the idea that you can have both. You can have both your thriving career and your ambition. Oh, yeah. And you can be a present mom and have you know be the parent that you want to be at home and have the home life that you want to have as you don't have to sacrifice one thing to be able to have the other. And so that's very in line with what you just brought up, I feel like with this idea of abundance. Like whatever business you're building, it doesn't matter what it is, but just build it with that underlying intention of I'm gonna build it to fit into my life and into the vision that I have for the kind of woman, wife, mom I want to be absolutely above all else.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Yeah, I mean, I'm just I was thinking this one away here. I was like, I have shapeshifted my schedule. So I mean, literally the other day I decided that morning that the next week I was changing my schedule because my daughter's schedule for the summer.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

How much of Medina is just trial and error, right? Thank God. Yeah. Or how much of mompreneurhood is trial and error with trying to figure out schedule and work and then like you know what?

SPEAKER_03 30:23

I mean, if this works and if it doesn't, then who cares? I'll know we're like I'll just figure it out and we'll change it and it'll be fine. Yeah. And my and my mom were both other moms, so they're like, yeah, it's fine, whatever, like it's not big deal. Yeah, cool things every change.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Yeah, you know, isn't that amazing to be in a I guess just to have clients that are understanding of that because they're they get it.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

Um I feel like people think like, oh my god, my kids take or what? I'm like, girl, take care of them babies, you know? Yeah, so I get it, yeah. It's nice.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

So good, so good. But yeah, so I mean, ultimately everything that you just said, just to like repeat it back, is that, you know, yes, it's important to have your village, but not everybody has an entire village. Sometimes that village is a daycare. Sometimes it's the one grandparent that's able to lend a hand. But capitalize on that. Use the support that you have, whatever that looks like for you, and and stay aligned with the ultimate vision that you have for your life as you endeavor to build your business up, because it can be really easy to stray from the whole point that you wanted to build it in the first place when you get into that hustle mode, which especially for the typeways out there, like we're talking about, can be really hard. I mean, I struggle on a daily basis to just like, hey, it's okay to just sit down for five minutes and not be productive. It's okay to not have to find something else.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

The rest is hard. The rest is real hard. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 31:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

We could have a whole nother episode on that. Yep, that one. That one. So, so one of the things that you spoke to earlier on, like before we ever hopped on recording together, was that one of the biggest challenges for you as a monpreneur, and you brought it up just a little bit here in today's conversation, but speak to us about what is like really the hardest, hardest part for you about juggling it all. Because I feel like I don't want to say too much, but I feel like it's relatable. And I feel like there's a lot of other moms that are in your shoes right now. And so it could just be helpful for them to hear your story and know they're not alone.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

Yeah. Kind of going back to what I was saying with like my husband, right? So the nature of his line of work. Because of that, I am having to be the default parent, like 90% of the time. And that can be a lot, right? Because I'm like, I just want to fucking get this done and I need to just like have time to do this and do that. And there, I mean, there were some actually quite recently that um I have like friends of mine who I've called and be like, you know what? Fuck it. Do you have do you want to hire me? Because I I'm about to just like burn this thing to the ground. I mean, I feel like all business owners we do that. We like get stuff and we're like, right, this is fucking crazy, you know, like, you know, whatever. Um that's literally part of what I do when I do that.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Well, that's part of why I coach the women I coach to help them avoid getting to that point of burnout and sacrificing their entire business because they feel like they can't do it all.

SPEAKER_03 33:15

Yeah, and like I think to myself, I'm like, I don't want to work, right? Like, how could who who would I even want to know? Um, and I hate being told what to do. So, like, there's also that part of it, you know. Um, and so I really had to come to a point, like even to say that to somebody, and they were like, okay, I'm gonna be going through your fit first, you know, for a little bit. I'm like, yeah, okay, we're figuring it out. Yeah. And it's funny too, because when I hit that moment, so many things in my life were like got like were signs from God that he was like, this is not an option. You think it is, it is not. So, like, bitch, try again. And I was like, okay, fuck what the fuck up, let's get back to it, let's figure it out. Because you're not, you're doing something and it's not working for you. So, like, do figure out how to do better for yourself, you know. And uh, so anyway, so I um yeah, I just figured out what worked for my business that just kept it going and a f like sometimes I'm I'm gonna be honest where I'm at right now. It's like, what is the minimal amount of stuff that can keep me thriving in the season I'm in until I'm at a point where I can like get the next level of support for me, right? So, like the other support is you know, switching my daughter to a school that's close. Like she's like I said, she's starting big girls' school, and conveniently there's a school that I thank God got her in very close to my office. And um, you know, I'm like, okay, what's the tell, what's the after school program look like? Like, because we're gonna have to do that, you know. Yeah, and um, I'm like, great. So now I'm having to like work our schedule around, you know, when that starts and be like, actually, I really love that because then we can go to the gym, which is a priority because we want to have another baby, and I'm trying to avoid having great claims again again, and like all these other things that go into it, and I'm just having to be very, very, very efficient with my time because it's very valuable.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 35:11

If you're gonna pull me from my office, which like I love doing this, so like this is not one of them, but you know, yeah, it's like if I'm gonna do stuff, you know, like my husband, he's like, you know, really, do you have any? When do you hang out with your friends? I was like, when we figure it out, we're all running businesses, we have like kids and we're doing our thing. And we, I mean, my best friend, her office, her office is literally down the hallway from me. Oh wow. And we like, hi my, you know, like kind of thing. But I think it's just like as I I would probably put myself in like the single parent category, not like financially and all the other stuff that goes with it. Because, like, definitely when my husband is there, I'm like, peace, I'm going to do this thing. Like, I like he was, you know, happened to be home early or whatever. And I said, I'm gonna run. I'm gonna run. Like, I don't talk to me for like 45 minutes. I'm going in the neighborhood, I'm going to do my thing. And uh yeah, I think it's just like, you know, sometimes I have to wake up early and you know, some nights look like, you know, it's a better version of, you know, maybe junk that you would get, but like I get the good version of chicken nuggets and fries. And sometimes that's like what we pop in the air fryer, or like I meal prep. Oh fuck, I go to Whole Foods and get meals for lunch because I don't fucking want to meal prep, you know, or I don't have time. I don't have time because that past weekend we went see my husband out of town, you know, like he was working in like Charles last weekend. And okay, I'm not meal prepping this week. Guess what? We're going by already made meals because we know my time is valuable and I'd rather spend it with the three of us together than you know, doing that. That's the most important thing. 100%. So it's like you almost have to like have little hacks in the in the in-betweens to make yourself efficient. And it's like, what are you what's the trade-off for that? Like what's the ROI, right?

SPEAKER_02 37:02

For that. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Yeah. I feel like even for moms that don't have husbands with the jobs that are crazy and have them gone all the time. There's even moms with husbands that have just a normal Monday, Friday, nine to five, and they still feel like the default parent. So for you and for anyone who does have a husband that's gone for extended periods of time, yeah, there's a whole nother element of challenge in that. And there's a whole nother element of loneliness in that and bitterness that can come up and frustration and resentment. Resentment. Yeah, just a whole nother gamut of issues that that can cause between you and your spouse. So it's just a whole nother battle that you're having to fight on top of everything else, and it's hard. Yeah. Um, so my heart goes out to you because I definitely feel like I'm I'm in a luckier situation right now. Um, my husband unfortunately has to drive to Batmarouge. Um pretty much every day he works, but he's still, you know, he's it's not like he's he used to be out sleeping in hotel rooms and traveling all over the place in different states and whatnot. And that's and he made a career decision to change to be closer to her so that he could be more present as a dad. Yeah. I made the decision to leave my corporate job four years ago so that I could be more present, a more present mom for her. And so, yeah, you make decisions through your life based on your values and the things that are most important to you. And the plan doesn't always go the way that you want it to, and things aren't always perfect, but you do the best that you can. And it sounds like you're doing a really, a really stand-up job.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

I'm trying my best. I'm trying my best with like all the other things because it's not just, you know, obviously it's not just always that. It's like, and then I'm trying to get out of my birth bubble, right? So, like I joined junior league, and then all of the other birth worker stuff that, you know, we have like the coalition and everything. So there's like a lot of that stuff going on too. But I try to try to do my best.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

Yeah, but I do want to shout it out. Like quickly mentioned, like, you started a whole community locally that's all for a bunch of different professions that are all in the birth world, but just even that impact that you're having on the community and the fact that you even had the bandwidth to start something like that with everyone.

SPEAKER_03 39:10

Yeah, it was definitely a village effort. So we long story short, um, I was actually recording a podcast episode with a local therapist, and we were just after the episode, we were done recording and we were just kind of chatting. And um, it came the idea, and we've lots of stuff in the birth community where we're like just seeing a lot of gaps, and said, why don't we wait for nobody to fix nothing? So we were like, you know what, let's just do the moms. How can we do that? And um, so we made a coalition for birth professionals, and so we meet once a quarter because like there's no way we can do more than that, and we figure out ways to support the women in our community, like things that we are all seeing, and like how can we be creative so that way as a mom's navigating the world that the journey that she's gonna navigate, how do we make sure she's never falling through the crack of like being alone, not feeling resourceful, not tapped in? Because what's great about our at least community here locally is that once you're tapped in, like there's no way you're not getting other resources, at least not in my office. Like the first visit, you're getting like your whole team set up, or at least like you're gonna know about it. Um, and so that's kind of where that came from. And you know, we just kind of go from there with that. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

I love that though. I think it's awesome. So I'm glad that you were able to share it. All right. This has been such a great conversation. I cannot wait for moms to hear it and just thank you for being here today. But before we go, I want to ask you one last question. I just want to know for the moms listening out there, what do you hope that they walk away from today's episode believing is possible for themselves, around whether it be birth specifically um or just being a mom and a mom for newer in general?

SPEAKER_03 41:00

My my word for the year was community. And I think if we can really lean into like your village, your community, your support system, it will only make you the best mom and entrepreneur possible. Like without like we what did we just say? Like, you can't do it all. So, like, how do you quote unquote do it all the way you want to with the support system? So, whatever that looks like, yeah, you gotta figure it out. You can't have it all, you can have it, girl. Yeah, yeah. How do you do it?

SPEAKER_02 41:39

The how is the important thing, yes, and taking the time to figure it out and not just like powering through and muscling through it and just literally draining yourself.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

Yeah, you cannot pour from that cup. No, it's not there, not sustainable. No, definitely not. And you know what? If you if you do try to push it too much, your body will tell you it will not even give it a little warning signs and then it will shut your shit down for you, it will make the decision for you.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

So well, before that happens, make sure y'all call Elena at birth chiropractic.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Yeah, so get yourself all face up.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

Yes. But uh just again, thank you so much for being here and um where can people go to connect with you, learn more about your business?

SPEAKER_03 42:25

Yeah, so um birth Acadiana Cairo, you know, chiropractic on Facebook, Instagram, and then if you want to see a little bit more spicier version of me on social media, um, I'm I feel like I'm pretty I'm very active actually on um on Instagram, Dr. Elena Clark. Um you can find me there. And then if anybody, all of my like links, if people want to work with me for them, for their babies, um can be found on all of those, like everything's birthday in a cairo.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

So yeah, for that. I will link it all up in the show notes for you guys. And before we go, cheers to raising humans and building something meaningful. Yeah, girl. Hey mama, if you enjoyed today's show, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode and share the show with a friend. Your support means the world to me. Until next time, y'all.